Ben Humphrey
Bacon is good. It is not bad. It is unhealthy and you probably wouldn't want to know anything about how it winds up on your plate. But if you, like me, are willing to remain ignorant in order to selfishly enjoy savoury meats then there aren't many valid cases against bacon. It's one of those special foods that can deliver on taste and texture without having to be prepared in any kind of sophisticated way. I understand this. What I don't really understand is how bacon has come to represent the be-all, end-all of culinary delights.
Bacon is good. One of the things that makes it so good is that it can stand alone as a staple of the traditional breakfast, or it can be used as a salty dressing or garnish for pre-existing dish. Easy examples of this include the bacon strips on the hamburger or the bacon bits on the ceasar salad. It isn't very hard to figure out, a food may taste better with bacon on it. But, like many good things, bacon is being abused. I recently changed cable services and, while browsing through my new channels, I came across a television show called "United States of Bacon." This is where, unfortunately, I must draw the line. Drawing the line on bacon! It has come to this. And can you really blame me?
Bacon is good. One of the things that makes it so good is that it can stand alone as a staple of the traditional breakfast, or it can be used as a salty dressing or garnish for pre-existing dish. Easy examples of this include the bacon strips on the hamburger or the bacon bits on the ceasar salad. It isn't very hard to figure out, a food may taste better with bacon on it. But, like many good things, bacon is being abused. I recently changed cable services and, while browsing through my new channels, I came across a television show called "United States of Bacon." This is where, unfortunately, I must draw the line. Drawing the line on bacon! It has come to this. And can you really blame me?
Bacon is good. So I can put up with the internet memes. Memes tend to celebrate the most bastardized version of creative thought possible, anyway. I can put up with a friend or acquaintance getting a bit overly-excited after being served a dish with bacon in or on it. Like I said, bacon is yummy. But an entire television series dedicated to a 300 pound man venturing the USA so he can sample food with bacon on it? Make it stop. Obesity is a problem in North America, and there are more than a few acceptable reasons for being overweight. But putting a (possibly morbidly) obese man in front of a camera and sending him on a bacon-inhaling tour of America? Seems a tad irresponsible. Then again, what is responsible? FREE MARKET, BABY!
I know there is a lot of crap on television. There is exploitative, sexist, racist garbage much worse than this on TV but I'm not smart or patient enough to be complaining about anything that important right now. So what is this show seeking out to accomplish? That bacon tastes good on stuff? I thought we knew this already. Chances are if you add some bacon to whatever you're having for dinner, it might taste better. So how does this warrant an entire show (that should just be called "Watch the Fat Man Eat Bacon")? You know what else tastes good by itself, or on the hamburger and ceasar salad? Cheese. Sure, like bacon, it will eventually kill you if you eat it every day. But at least there are hundreds of different varieties of cheese, and you could celebrate and record the process of making it without turning your audience vegetarian.
Cheese is good. Still, I don't think there should be TV shows solely dedicated to cheese. I just hate having to accept that an obese guy can get paid to eat fucking bacon like some patron of the goddam culinary arts, while a slightly overweight guy doesn't get paid to complain about things and drink beer. And sure, the slightly overweight guy is jealous of guys like Anthony Bourdain who get to gallivant like fucking heroes for eating supper in exotic locations, but doesn't the slightly overweight guy have a point about the bacon? Where do we draw the line, man? I guess my bacon threshold isn't as high as you real "foodies" out there. But when you tune in to see there's a made for TV movie dedicated to salt? Don't say I didn't warn you. I'm going to have a beer. Get at me if you want to pay me to film me drink it.
Submitted by Ben Humphrey
@humpnotes
Submitted by Ben Humphrey
@humpnotes