Ben Humphrey
The Superbowl is less than a week away. Coincidentally, this means that you're less than a week away from eating a dangerous amount of salty foods and getting sloppy all over your buddy Mike's couch. I, being the humanitarian that I am, would like to ensure that you get the most out of your Superbowl experience. Depending on which game-watching dish you plan on devouring, there is probably an adult beverage that would best compliment it. Thankfully for you, I have put together a list according the five most popular Superbowl snacks to their appropriate beverage:
1. Buffalo Wings
You like the classics, and something this savoury and spicy calls for something simple, cold and refreshing to wash it down with.
Verdict: Cheap and cold beer, in a can.
Verdict: Cheap and cold beer, in a can.
2. Nachos
You like salty, but in the subtle and complex varieties that are associated with Mexican cooking. Therefore, you will want something equally subtle and sophisticated to live up to your meal.
Verdict:
Cheap and cold beer, in a can.
Verdict:
Cheap and cold beer, in a can.
3. Chips & Dip
You like anything. You're eating fucking chips for dinner. You didn't even realize that someone dropped their bandaid into the dip. Jesus, you're a mess.
Verdict:
Cheap and cold beer, in a can.
Verdict:
Cheap and cold beer, in a can.
4. Chili
You like a hearty meal that fills you up and warms your soul. You'll find comfort in this traditional homemade dish, until all your unappreciative asshole friends start telling you that you didn't buy enough cheap and cold beer in a can.
Verdict:
Cheap and cold beer, in can.
Verdict:
Cheap and cold beer, in can.
5. Cheap and cold beer, in a can
You took Monday off, you can eat then. Buffalo wings aren't a special treat when you eat them every Thursday night at the same dive bar where you met your first wife. You're an animal, and I love you.
Verdict:
Whatever liquor your hosts have lying around, mouthwash, whatever.
Submitted by Ben Humphrey
@humpnotes
Verdict:
Whatever liquor your hosts have lying around, mouthwash, whatever.
Submitted by Ben Humphrey
@humpnotes